Absolutely: Are you feeling queasy yet?

Words drive thoughts. Thoughts drive emotions. Emotions drive decisions.

The use of the right words can move your listeners in the right direction and the use of the wrong words can move them in the wrong direction. Right, meaning in the direction that you want them to go and wrong meaning the opposite.

It’s not just the choice of words that lead to your success or failure but the abuse of words.

When you present you want your audience to remember the most important words that reinforce your message. You don’t want them to remember words that detract from your message.

The speaker was talking about coaching. So you would think that the words that the audience should remember the most would be about coaching – the process and the results.

Instead, the word that I remember most from this presentation was “absolutely”.

I heard it so many times that I started to feel sick when I heard it. Sometimes it was uttered three times within two minutes.

Absolutely, Absolutely, Absolutely.

The speaker was using the word, “Absolutely” instead of “yes”. I did not hear the speaker say “yes”. Curious, what was she hiding?

Superior speakers use shorter words and short sentences to get their message across. Absolutely is four syllables while yes is one syllable. Which do you think is the better word to use?

If you mean yes – say yes.

Job interviewers and police interrogators will tell you that the more words a person uses to answer a simple yes or no question – the least likely that the answer is true.

Did you complete your degree? Absolutely
Did you kill John Doe? Absolutely not.

Do you love me? Absolutely.
Did you have sex with that person? Absolutely not.

Did you mean yes or no?

If you mean no – say no.

Why would a speaker say absolutely when they mean yes?

Perhaps they think that “absolutely” sounds sexy, modern or intelligent. In each of those cases they are talking insincere.

Perhaps they are uncertain about their information or position. “Yes” would sound much more certain.

Perhaps they are mimicking a word that they just heard which suggests that they are not thinking about what they say or how it might affect their message.

Do you want your listeners to remember your key message or do you want them to remember an annoying word like absolutely?


George Torok


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Dealing with a Hostile Audience

The best example of taming a hostile audience is Marc Anthony’s eulogy for Julius Caesar after the murder of the emperor. Following is Marc Anthony’s speech from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.


ANTONY. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

He addresses the listeners as equals just as many US presidents start their speeches with “fellow Americans.” And he puts them at ease by offering only to bury Caesar not praise him.

The evil that men do lives after them,
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious;
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.

He starts to play with their minds by suggesting that it is easy to forget about the good deeds and only remember the bad. This plants some doubt in the minds of the listeners, maybe even some guilt for already forgetting of the good deeds. He reminds them that the greatest crime according to the murderer of Caesar was that he was ambitions. Then he points out that Caesar has paid the price for that crime.

Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest-
For Brutus is an honorable man;
So are they all, all honorable men-

He speaks well of the murderers. He casts no stones.

Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me;

He talks about his friend. An emotional appeal.

But Brutus says he was ambitious,
And Brutus is an honorable man.

Notice how he repeats this refrain. It is effective because it anchors the crime of which Caesar was accused and executed for. And the message about Brutus being a honorable man starts to rub listeners as untrue.

He hath brought many captives home to Rome,
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill.
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept;
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious,
And Brutus is an honorable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious,
And sure he is an honorable man. Reminder of the good things that Caesar did while reminding them of the now weak crime of ambition.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,

In fact he does. The use of the word, “but” in the next line is a clear indicator of disagreement.

But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause;
What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?
O judgement, thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me.

An emotional tug at their guilt and the setup for a pause on his part to allow the listeners to think and speak amongst themselves.

FIRST CITIZEN. Methinks there is much reason in his sayings.

SECOND CITIZEN. If thou consider rightly of the matter, Caesar has had great wrong.

THIRD CITIZEN. Has he, masters? I fear there will a worse come in his place.

FOURTH CITIZEN. Mark'd ye his words? He would not take the crown; Therefore 'tis certain he was not ambitious.

FIRST CITIZEN. If it be found so, some will dear abide it.

SECOND CITIZEN. Poor soul, his eyes are red as fire with weeping.

THIRD CITIZEN. There's not a nobler man in Rome than Antony.

FOURTH CITIZEN. Now mark him, he begins again to speak.

It worked. The audience is now listening more intently to Marc Anthony and they are rethinking their original position about the validity of killing Caesar. Mark Anthony has turned the audience. And they are ready for his next push.

ANTONY. But yesterday the word of Caesar might
Have stood against the world. Now lies he there,
And none so poor to do him reverence.
O masters! If I were disposed to stir
Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage,
I should do Brutus wrong and Cassius wrong,
Who, you all know, are honorable men.
I will not do them wrong; I rather choose
To wrong the dead, to wrong myself and you,
Than I will wrong such honorable men.
But here's a parchment with the seal of Caesar;
I found it in his closet, 'tis his will.
Let but the commons hear this testament-
Which, pardon me, I do not mean to read-
And they would go and kiss dead Caesar's wounds
And dip their napkins in his sacred blood,
Yea, beg a hair of him for memory,
And, dying, mention it within their wills,
Bequeathing it as a rich legacy
Unto their issue.

FOURTH CITIZEN. We'll hear the will. Read it, Mark Antony.

ALL. The will, the will! We will hear Caesar's will.

ANTONY. Have patience, gentle friends, I must not read it;
It is not meet you know how Caesar loved you.
You are not wood, you are not stones, but men;
And, being men, hearing the will of Caesar,
It will inflame you, it will make you mad.
'Tis good you know not that you are his heirs,
For if you should, O, what would come of it!

FOURTH CITIZEN. Read the will; we'll hear it, Antony.
You shall read us the will, Caesar's will.

ANTONY. Will you be patient? Will you stay awhile?
I have o'ershot myself to tell you of it.
I fear I wrong the honorable men
Whose daggers have stabb'd Caesar; I do fear it.

FOURTH CITIZEN. They were traitors. Honorable men! ALL. The will! The testament!

SECOND CITIZEN. They were villains, murtherers. The will!
Read the will!

ANTONY. You will compel me then to read the will?
Then make a ring about the corse of Caesar,
And let me show you him that made the will.
Shall I descend? And will you give me leave?

ALL. Come down.

SECOND CITIZEN. Descend.
He comes down from the pulpit.

THIRD CITIZEN. You shall have leave.

FOURTH CITIZEN. A ring, stand round.

FIRST CITIZEN. Stand from the hearse, stand from the body.

SECOND CITIZEN. Room for Antony, most noble Antony.

ANTONY. Nay, press not so upon me, stand far off.

ALL. Stand back; room, bear back!

ANTONY. If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.
You all do know this mantle. I remember
The first time ever Caesar put it on;
'Twas on a summer's evening, in his tent,
That day he overcame the Nervii.
Look, in this place ran Cassius' dagger through;
See what a rent the envious Casca made;
Through this the well-beloved Brutus stabb'd;
And as he pluck'd his cursed steel away,
Mark how the blood of Caesar follow'd it,
As rushing out of doors, to be resolved
If Brutus so unkindly knock'd, or no;
For Brutus, as you know, was Caesar's angel.
Judge, O you gods, how dearly Caesar loved him!
This was the most unkindest cut of all;
For when the noble Caesar saw him stab,
Ingratitude, more strong than traitors' arms,
Quite vanquish'd him. Then burst his mighty heart,
And, in his mantle muffling up his face,
Even at the base of Pompey's statue,
Which all the while ran blood, great Caesar fell.
O, what a fall was there, my countrymen!
Then I, and you, and all of us fell down,
Whilst bloody treason flourish'd over us.
O, now you weep, and I perceive you feel
The dint of pity. These are gracious drops.
Kind souls, what weep you when you but behold
Our Caesar's vesture wounded? Look you here,
Here is himself, marr'd, as you see, with traitors.

FIRST CITIZEN. O piteous spectacle!

SECOND CITIZEN. O noble Caesar!

THIRD CITIZEN. O woeful day!

FOURTH CITIZEN. O traitors villains!

FIRST CITIZEN. O most bloody sight!

SECOND CITIZEN. We will be revenged.

ALL. Revenge! About! Seek! Burn! Fire! Kill!
Slay! Let not a traitor live!

ANTONY. Stay, countrymen.

FIRST CITIZEN. Peace there! Hear the noble Antony.

SECOND CITIZEN. We'll hear him, we'll follow him, we'll die with him.

ANTONY. Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up
To such a sudden flood of mutiny.
They that have done this deed are honorable.
What private griefs they have, alas, I know not,
That made them do it. They are wise and honorable,
And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you.
I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts.
I am no orator, as Brutus is;
But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man,
That love my friend, and that they know full well
That gave me public leave to speak of him.
For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth,
Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech,
To stir men's blood. I only speak right on;
I tell you that which you yourselves do know;
Show you sweet Caesar's wounds, poor dumb mouths,
And bid them speak for me. But were I Brutus,
And Brutus Antony, there were an Antony
Would ruffle up your spirits and put a tongue
In every wound of Caesar that should move
The stones of Rome to rise and mutiny.

ALL. We'll mutiny.

FIRST CITIZEN. We'll burn the house of Brutus.

THIRD CITIZEN. Away, then! Come, seek the conspirators.

ANTONY. Yet hear me, countrymen; yet hear me speak.

ALL. Peace, ho! Hear Antony, most noble Antony!

ANTONY. Why, friends, you go to do you know not what.
Wherein hath Caesar thus deserved your loves?
Alas, you know not; I must tell you then.
You have forgot the will I told you of.

ALL. Most true, the will! Let's stay and hear the will.

ANTONY. Here is the will, and under Caesar's seal.
To every Roman citizen he gives,
To every several man, seventy-five drachmas.

SECOND CITIZEN. Most noble Caesar! We'll revenge his death.

THIRD CITIZEN. O royal Caesar!

ANTONY. Hear me with patience.

ALL. Peace, ho!

ANTONY. Moreover, he hath left you all his walks,
His private arbors, and new-planted orchards,
On this side Tiber; he hath left them you,
And to your heirs forever- common pleasures,
To walk abroad and recreate yourselves.
Here was a Caesar! When comes such another?

FIRST CITIZEN. Never, never. Come, away, away!
We'll burn his body in the holy place
And with the brands fire the traitors' houses.
Take up the body.

SECOND CITIZEN. Go fetch fire.

THIRD CITIZEN. Pluck down benches.

FOURTH CITIZEN. Pluck down forms, windows, anything.

Exeunt Citizens with the body.

ANTONY. Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot,
Take thou what course thou wilt.



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4 Questions You Need to Answer in Your Presentation

Every time you speak you must answer four questions for your audience.

Why?
This addresses the question of purpose and relevance.


What?
This addresses the question of direction.


How?
This addresses the question of detail.


What if?
This addresses the question of wild cards.



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Sales & Marketing Executives versus 12-year-olds

Who delivers a better presentation and why?

Recently I listened to a group of senior sales and marketing executives speak at a networking meeting. I also served as a judge at a speech contest for 12-year-olds. These two unrelated events prompted me to compare the presentation skills of each group.

1. Guess who was more engaging, attention grabbing and memorable?

2. Guess who was boring, uninspiring and easily forgettable?

The answer to question one is – the 12-year-olds. They were good.

The answer to question two is – the sales & marketing executives. They needed improvement.

Why did 12-year-olds deliver better presentations than senior sales and marketing executives?

Competition
The 12-year olds were competing in a speech contest. Many of their parents were there. Money and prestige were on the line, so they were well rehearsed.

Focus
Each presenter had a focused message. Their presentation was designed to deliver that message. Some were deep and serious while others were light and whimsical. In all cases the message was clear and easy to summarize.

Relate
The presenters spoke to the interests of the audience. The topics ranged from “the influence of the media”, “tourism in third world countries”, “the family van”, “peculiarities of the English language”, and “homework”. Yet each speaker related the topic to the listener.

Stories
Each speaker told colorful stories. That sparked images in my mind. Many said things that were funny and made me laugh. Some statements challenged my opinion. I was impressed by the carefully selected words and phrasing. All were simple and understandable.

Passion
Each speaker conveyed passion for their message. Each radiated that they were happy to be speaking to us.

Bold
These speakers were bold. They stood before the audience, looked people in the eye, delivered their statements and performed.

What did the Sales & Marketing Executives (SME) do poorly?

Winging it
The SME seemed to be winging it – even though they were competing for attention, memorability and jobs. These SME were between jobs but seemed reluctant to compete and rehearse. Yet, clearly a lot of money was on the line. If their family had attended, would they have prepared better?

Vague
There was no focus or purpose evident. It almost seemed that they first were reciting their resume and then what they had for breakfast. Okay, I’m exaggerating the breakfast part – but it seemed as boring as porridge.

Pain
Each speaker seemed to be caught in their own self-centered world. Most didn’t relate to me or how they might fix my pain or that of my contacts. How could I help them if I didn’t know what they were offering? Stating “who you worked for” tells me little. They needed to speak of pain and solutions.

Blah
Facts, history and blah, blah, blah. Some related recent experiences but none that were worth remembering. Many used filler, self-sabotaging and jargon words. I was bored, confused and unimpressed.

Passion?
I didn’t feel it. The emotion that I felt was remorse. “Why am I here?”

Timid
You might think that Sales & Marketing Executives would be anything but humble. You might think that Sales & Marketing Executives would grasp the difference between benefits and features. I thought so too.

All of the SME sat while speaking, crunched in their chairs some with an arm draped over the back of the chair. It was as if this was a family picnic instead of a possible career defining meeting. I found it curious that none of the men wore a tie. Did they want to be taken seriously? Or was this just a social club?

Presentation Skills Contest Results
What’s the score? 12-year olds -1. Sales & Marketing Executives - 0.

Some of you might think that I’m too hard on the Sales & Marketing Executives. That I’m expecting too much from them. Maybe – but I bet that I’m not the only one.


© George Torok is the Speech Coach for Executives. He coaches business leaders to deliver deal-closing presentations. Find more free presentation tips at http://www.SpeechCoachforExecutives.com Find more tips and ideas for your presentations at http://www.facebook.com/PresentationSkillsClub To arrange for training for your team call 905-335-1997

Sales & Marketing Executives versus 12-year olds


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Comments & Questions from Audio Class: Confidence

How to Radiate More Confidence than you feel when speaking - feedback


If you listened to the live broadcast or the recording, this is the place to add your comments, suggestions and questions about this program and topic.


Comments
What ideas were helpful to you? How helpful did you find this program? How has this program made a difference for you?


Suggestions
What topics do you suggest for future audio classess or email tips.


Thank you for your feedback

George Torok
The Speech Coach for Executives
Author of Power Presentation Tips


PS: Watch for more free audio classes on presentation skills

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Radiate More Confidence than You Feel - free audio class

Listen by phone to this free audio class on Thursday November 2 at 2:00 pm EDT. If you can't make that time you can still listen to the recording - but you need to register here http://presentation-skills-seminars.com/

Topics and question to be addressed include:

Why should your audience feel confident?

5 Confidence boosters before you speak

5 Techniques as you start

How does your audience decide if you are confident?

First aid for when the nerves strike

The dirty dozen red flags of non-confidence

If you are not yet registered and you want to appear more confident when you speak register now.
http://presentation-skills-seminars.com/


George Torok


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Power Presentations Tip 45: Spice Up Your Presentation with Quotations

The Right Quotation Can Spice Up Your Presentation

Add one or a few quotations to your presentation to make it more entertaining and insightful. Your quotation might spur your listeners to think or laugh. Sprinkle lightly like pepper. Use a quotation that emphasizes or clarifies your message.

Here are three sources you can search for quotations:

Quote a Famous Person

This is the most common method. Be sure to quote from a person who is well known and well liked by your audience. That ensures that the quotation lends more weight to your message.

Name the person who said it. Don't pretend to be the source of that phrase and don't make your audience guess. An appropriate quotation helps you tap into the credibility of the person who first spoke that piece of wisdom. The right quotation can sound as if Einstein agrees with you.

Avoid the overused quotes. Instead, search for a quotation that is not well known.

"I went to the gym on the days that I felt like it and I went to the gym on the days that I didn't feel like it." Muhammad Ali


Quote a Client, Colleague or Industry Expert

Another source of valuable quotations could be your clients - especially if you are talking to your staff or company colleagues. You could use praise or complaints.

The company or association founder can be a source of colorful insights. A little research can lead you to simple words from the guy on the loading dock.

"We hurry to ship it out and it comes back on the next truck. Why not get it right the first time?" Truck Driver


The Twist

A third variation is to take a common phrase or quotation and twist it. This technique can add an engaging element of surprise and humor to what might have been a dull presentation

"He who laughs - lasts."

Children will offer you useful twists as they rephrase the words they hear and describe the world as they see it.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." 4 year old girl

How to Deliver the Quotation

Pause just before you deliver the line and just after. While you are stating the quotation, shift your stance so you look slightly different and alter your voice a bit. All those changes help to position the quotation as originating from someone else. Then resume your previous stance and voice to demonstrate that you are back to your own words.

One or a few powerful quotations can make your presentation more engaging, insightful and memorable.

"All we have to fear - is being boring."

George Torok

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Forward this tip to your colleagues who want to be more effective presenters.

Want to be more successful? Improve your presentation skills.

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Picture Your Audience in Their Underwear

If you were ever nervous about public speaking, you might have heard that piece of tired advice. It’s bad advice. Ignore it.

Do you really want to be imagining your boss, clients or colleagues in their underwear while you are speaking? Depending on your imagination and familiarity with your audience that might make you giggle uncontrollably. Or you might become so distracted that you forget your speech.

That advice is probably based on one aspect of the fear of public speaking. That is the fear that the audience can see you naked. In this case the naked doesn’t mean without clothes. The fear is that the audience can see your thoughts – especially your fears, doubts and faults. That implies that your audience is more powerful than you – that they have superhuman powers like x-ray vision and mind reading.

The reality is that no one can read your mind. If we could there would be far less miscommunication between people. The problem with communication is that we can’t read minds. Instead we attempt to interpret the words, sounds and images that we observe.

Therein lies your answer. The better that you manage the words, sounds and images that your audience observes the more control you will have over your presentations results. That control starts with your perspective.

Don’t picture your audience in their underwear. And don’t picture them naked. That’s another old snake oil remedy. Can you imagine your convulsive laughter or primal urges destroying your presentation?

That’s not the way to tame the fear of public speaking or deliver an effective presentation.

Instead, picture your audience as equals. You are good at what you do and they are good at what they do. You offer value and so do they. It’s not about who has or makes more money. It’s not about job titles, age or corporate hierarchy. It’s about you having a conversation with a room full of equals. That’s one of the secrets of overcoming speech anxiety – make it feel like a conversation.

Seeing and treating people like equals is an important fundamental shift in your perspective as an effective public speaker. Don’t look down or up to your audience. They aren’t better than you and you aren’t better than they are. You are simply taking your turn as an equal to offer your message. They can’t see you naked and you don’t want to imagine them that way.

Don’t fear your audience. Don’t see them with superhuman powers. And don’t imagine them in their underwear or less. Effective public speaking is not about undressing anyone. Deliver your presentation as a conversation with a group of equals.


© George Torok helps public speakers overcome the fear of public speaking and convey convincing confidence. Get your free presentation skills tips at http://SpeechCoachforExecutives.com Learn about the upcoming teleseminars and public seminars at http://presentation-skills-seminars.com To arrange private speech coaching call 905-335-1997


Listen to the free Audio Class on
“How to Radiate More Confidence than You Feel”

It's on November 4, 2010. If you can't listen live you can download the recording for free. But you must reigister to get the download. Click here for details and free registration.





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Power Presentations Tip 44: Your Body Leaks Messages

Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words

Body language is important to your presentation because your audience tends to put more belief in what they see versus what they hear - especially when there is a conflict between the two.

If you want your message to be believed then ensure that your body language is supporting your words.

The message of your body language is in the minds of your audience. It is based on their cultural norms and interpretations. That means that everybody might not see you the same way. You need to understand the cultural norms of your audience.

Body language is easier to notice when it's not working.

Imagine if you:

•Tell someone special that you love them with a scowl on your face.
•Tell an audience to vote for you while you are slouched over.
•Tell a client that they can trust you while you back away from them.

Notice the inconsistencies. Your audience will believe what they see and ignore the words.

The 3 main factors of body language

Face

Your audience spends most of the time looking at your face. Why? Because that is the body part that is most interesting and conveys the most emotion. The two most important points of attention are your eyes and lips.

Your audience wants to see your face. Ensure that they can clearly see it. Stand in the light. Stand where your face can be seen. Don't let hair block your eyes.

Hands

Show your hands and we will trust you more. If you hide them we might question your intentions. Don't hide your hands behind your back or in your pockets. Our brain will wonder what you might be hiding from us.

Movement

How you move says a lot about your state of mind. If you are agitated or nervous you will move rapidly and erratically.

Move slowly and purposefully to convey more confidence.

Your body is always leaking messages. Are you clear on what it is saying? Are you in control?

George Torok
PS: Watch for the free telesminars.


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Free Teleseminar - Nov 4
How to Radiate Confidence When You Speak
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Facebook Page NEW
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Power Presentation Resources

Forward this tip to your colleagues who want to be more effective presenters.

Want to be more successful? Improve your presentation skills.
Call George Torok to arrange:

Presentation Skills Training for your team
One-on-one Personal Speech Coaching for your executives
An Engaging Speaker for your corporate meeting or association conference

Register for Power Presentations Tips

Power Presentations® is a registered trademark of Peter Urs Bender
George Torok is licensed to use this trademark.

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