George Torok interviewed (again) on podcast - Small Talk #15

The conversation continues on the podcast Small Talk with host, Javed Khan and special guest George Torok.

We hear more tips on how to convey your spoken message more effectively.




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small talk (show #14) – George Torok (Superior Presentations)

Enjoy this 5 minute video interview about how to avoid the most common and annoying mistakes that business presenters commit.

Host Javed S. Khan of small talk features presentation specialist, George Torok.



George Torok

Host of Business in Motion

Business Speaker

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How to Have Better Conversations

In this 11 minute video from a TEDX talk, radio show host, Celeste Hendlee offers ten powerful points to help you become more productive in conversations.

Imagine how this skill can make you shine in business and personal relationships.

The ten conversation tips summarized below for you

Watch the video to appreciate the context.

1. Be fully present
2. Assume that you can learn from this person
3. Ask open-ended questions
4. Stay with the conversation
5. When it’s true – admit that you don’t know
6. Don’t equate your experience to theirs
7. Stop repeating your point
8. Leave out the unnecessary details
9. Listen
10. Be brief

Do you want to Communicate more Effectively in Business?
Discover how you can get personalized coaching from an experienced business professional communicator.
Check out the online coaching here.




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How to Create Interest and Connect with Anyone

TEDx video of Sam Horn as she demonstrates how to use Intrigue to create interest and connect. You might need to watch this at least twice. The first time, enjoy the presentation. The next time, note the points and notice the techniques she uses to deliver her presentation.

In particular, notice how she:

• made her messages easy to remember
• grabbed the attention of the audience
• engaged the audience
• used entertaining quotes from celebrities
• employed the magic of threes
• open and closed effectively
• made it easy to remember her points
• hardly talked about herself
• offered practical tools you can use immediately

First time - enjoy the presentation, then watch again.


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Back in Five Minutes – a lie?

This message on a post-it note was stuck on the office door. What does it really mean?

A few thoughts that went through my mind were:

Five minutes from when?

Why is this person so vague?

How long has this note been on the door?

Why not post the time of your return?

Was this note for the benefit of the reader or the writer?

Was this note posted to be helpful or to provide an excuse?

Does this mean “at least five minutes”?

Does this five-minute promise resemble the same truth (lie) as the statement “just a sec”?

Has this note been there since yesterday – or longer?

What can this person possibly accomplish in five minutes?

Is this person a liar and what other lies has he told?

See what a vague message might trigger in the minds of your audience?

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You Are Always Selling and Negotiating

The accountant was a partner at a major accounting firm. She was clearly qualified as an expert in her field. She admitted to me that she was quite comfortable talking about her area of expertise to her clients. She was sincerely willing to help her clients.

The point where she ran into difficulty was selling her services to the client. She got anxious when discussing the price and detested “closing the deal”.

Accounting training had not prepared her for the angst of selling your value.

Every presentation is a sales presentation even if you don’t want to see yourself as a salesperson. Every time you speak you must convince people to listen to you, trust you and believe what you say. Most importantly you must convince them to act on what you say.

You are selling your credibility, ideas, services and team. When offering professional services you are also selling your experience, personality, character, strengths and flaws.

Yes, sell your flaws. Tell your audience what you don’t know. And tell them what you can do to get that information. Tell them what you won’t do. That’s more important that you might think. Clients need to you know your limits – and so do you.

I had a conference call with a prospect on a Friday who asked for a response from me for Monday. I told them that I don’t work on the weekend and would have their answer for Tuesday. After a pregnant pause, they agreed. They hired me to train their staff on presentation skills.

In the 1997 movie, The Devil’s Advocate, Keanu Reeves ask Al Pacino (The Devil) “Are we negotiating? The devil answers, “We’re always negotiating.”

When you speak – you are negotiating – you are selling – you are attempting to persuade your audience.

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Warning: Know When to Shut Up

Effective public speaking is not only about speaking. It’s also about knowing when to stop speaking. Some times you need to shut up.

I don’t say that to be offensive, even though some might be offended by those words. If you are offended, perhaps that message is most intended for you.

As public speakers we must accept the reality that no one wants to hear every word that we want to say.

Read that last sentence again. There’s a difference between what you want to say and what your audience wants or needs to hear.

The question is, “How big is that difference and how aware are you of the difference?”

No one cares about what you think you need to say. The audience only cares about what they believe might be important to them. When a speaker says, I need to tell you this – the audience might wonder, “What has that got to do with us and why should we care what you think you need to say?”

When you find that you are saying things that you feel you need to say – it’s time to shut up.

When your audience doesn’t appear to be listening – shut up and wait for them to pay attention.

When you get lost and need to gather your thoughts – shut up, smile and gather your thoughts before proceeding.

When there is a disturbance in the room – shut up, wait for the commotion to die, then continue.

If you want to be a more effective speaker – know when to shut up. Your audience will love you and you’ll be invited to speak again.

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Move from Left to Right

English and other languages originating from Europe read left to right. That means that those people naturally move their eyes from left to right when reading.

They prefer to absorb information in the same manner.

When you speak before an audience you can use that principle to enhance the acceptance of your message.

First you must realize that it’s the audience’s perception of left to right and not your on-stage left to right that counts. It’s not what you thought you said. It’s what they thought you said that is important.

How can you use this principle in your presentation?

Timeline

Ask these folks to draw a timeline of a project and they will likely draw it from left to right. The left represents the beginning while the right represents the end or the future.

Here’s how to move while presenting about your project or proposal. Talk about the past while standing on the extreme left side of the stage (your right). Stand in the middle of the stage when talking about the present and move to the far right of the audience when describing the desired future.

You could also simply gesture to your right when talking about the past and to your left when talking about the future.

Progress

Use the same methods to place problems in the past and solutions in the future.

This is not natural so you will need to rehearse these movements. But the audience will be more willing to accept your ideas when they can SEE progress.

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Words That Suck Energy from Your Presentation

Speakers say the darnedest things.

Here is an assortment of destructive words and phrases that I heard at a meeting. Notice how these words might sabotage a presentation by distracting, boring or annoying your audience.

Stuff

This is vague. It suggests that the speaker doesn't know the subject. Try to picture stuff. There are more descriptive words that could be used; baggage, benefits, lessons, options, programs, products, books, ideas, plans…

You guys

This is too colloquial. It might be okay to use with a group of buddies, but not with a group of business associates. This phrase is just a hair above gangster speak "youse guys". When I hear this phrase I wonder if the speaker knows that the word you is both singular and plural.

Bucks

Bucks are male deer. The person meant dollars. The word bucks is too colloquial and low class.

Second to none

This is a cliché which suggests unoriginal thought. It’s not visual. Try to picture “second to none”. It’s also the combination of two negative words. Instead say the best or first.

At the end of the day

An overused cliché – thus unoriginal thought. Clichés tend to be boring – because we heard it before. When the audience hears clichés they tend to tune out and might miss what you say next.

Without further ado

This is cliché, vague and negative. What does ado look like? What does the lack of ado look like? And why was the audience subjected to some ado already? Instead, pause and continue.

Pretty unique

Ha, Ha. Is the opposite of this "ugly unique"? If you mean unique, say unique. If it’s pretty then call it unique and pretty.

Very, very unique

This might win the prize for the dumbest phrase in this rotten bunch. Is very unique more unique than unique? When you stack your verys, does that mean twice or ten times?

Truth be told

Cliché. Naturally one might wonder why the speaker feels he needed to point out that he was now about to tell the truth. Was everything up to this point a lie?

Moving on

Cliché. This phase adds no value. If the speaker talks about the next topic the audience will know that he moved on – for what that’s worth. Simply move on.

Going forward

Cliché. This one suggests that there is an alternative to going forward and that must be going backward. Instead say “The next step is”.

To be honest

Cliché. Whenever a speaker says this the audience would be justified in questioning the speaker’s honesty. Should we put the speaker on a polygraph? Why does the speaker need to qualify the next words with this curious phrase?

Okay

The speaker made a statement and then tacked on “Okay” at the end in a questioning way. This speaker did this several times. Was the speaker questioning whether the audience understood the statement? Was the speaker questioning whether the audience agreed with the statement? Was the speaker chastising the audience for being so dense? Was the speaker simply validating himself by saying that he was doing Okay?

Whole bunch

We have a whole bunch of products for you. It just sounds vague and low class. It doesn't place those products in a positive light.

Your audience doesn't listen to every word you say. They also react more to certain words than others. Certain phrases might detour their thoughts onto a tangent. If you want to hold the attention and credibility of your audience avoid using these self-destructive phrases.

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Pursuit of the Perfect Presentation

It doesn't exist. It will never happen. You won’t deliver the perfect presentation. However you can deliver a successful presentation that is less than perfect.

Success should be your goal – not perfection. Success is achievable.

Define the success of every presentation you plan to deliver in terms of this three part question.

What do you want people to think, feel or do as a result of your presentation?

The purpose of your presentation is to move people. If you did – it was successful. Don’t waste your effort on chasing perfect – simply move people in the direction that you want.

Define success before you create your presentation and you will avoid tangents. Be clear on your definition of success while presenting and you will stay on target. Most importantly if you know what’s important you are more likely to get to your destination.

Don’t fret about perfection. Focus on success. Don't work for a perfect 10.

What do you want people to think, feel or do?

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Every Presentation is a Competition

Every time you present in front of an audience you are in a competition. Treat it seriously because your audience is judging you against the competition.

Sometimes the competition is a competitor selling a similar product or service.

More often the competition to your presentation is the other thoughts, ideas and questions within the minds of your audience.

There are many things competing for their attention. TV, YouTube, Family issues, Work, Health, Friends, Social activities, Money, Career...

How do you compete?

By understanding their needs and demonstrating that - and addressing their needs, fears and concerns.

Stop the poetry - address their pain.

PS: I've completed the Hamilton Around the Bay Race six times. :)

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Collect & Organize Your Presentation Ideas

Call it old school, but a simple yet effective way to capture and organize your presentation ideas is to write them on index cards.

Write your ideas on separate index cards. Go ahead and simply write as many ideas and questions on index cards while preparing for your next presentation.

Don't judge the ideas as you write them.

After you've run dry on generating ideas for your presentation start to sort them. Lay the index cards out on your desk or the floor if necessary and look for commonalities. Start grouping them.

After you group them look for how you might sequence the groups.

Look for contrasts.

You might start colour coding the index cards by categories.

Move the ideas that don't fit to the side - but keep them for later consideration.

Then start writing your presentation.

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Assume and You Lose

Have you noticed that when people assume they know what you meant – often they misunderstood?

Can you recall a recent conversation where you assumed you understood the other person and you messed up because you assumed wrong?

One piece of the puzzle seldom shows you the whole picture.

Assumption seems to be the biggest cause of failed communication.

That’s curious because it happens often yet we keep repeating our mistakes.

The first step to overcome assumption is to listen without judging or jumping to conclusions. The next step is to ask for clarification and listen carefully. The next step might be to check your understanding one more time.

When you what to clarify your understanding first ask an open question and listen. Then ask a closed question or state your understanding and listen.

Why might people assume?

They believe they can read your mind.

They want to demonstrate eagerness by getting started.

They want to impress you.

They didn’t listen and don’t want you to know.

They believe that they are saving time by not asking you to explain.

They are insecure about your relationship.

They don’t want to spend any more time in your presence.

They are intimidated by you.

They are overeager to please you.

They don’t know how to ask good questions.

They believe that they should know and are afraid to ask questions.

They believe that motion is action.

They see themselves as a victim.

They think that you might be testing their knowledge.

Of course those are only my assumptions.

The next time you have a conversation or listen to a speaker ask yourself, "What assumptions have you made before or while listening to that person?"

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Open Your Presentation Like Restaurant Greeters

How to open your speech?

The opening to a speech is often overlooked - yet it is so important because it is the first impression that the audience has of you and your presentation.

The two fellows on my right were the greeters at a middle eastern restaurant. They served as perfect examples of what the opening of your presentation should do.

Think of your presentation opening as the store-front or lobby of a retail shop.

The opening of your presentation should do these three things:

• Grab Attention
• Build Rapport
• Set Direction

When we entered this restaurant these two greeters grabbed our attention with their colourful costumes and contrasting size.

They built rapport with their smiles, bowing and gestures of welcome.

They set the direction for the experience that we could expect from this restaurant with their welcoming presentation. We knew that we were in for an exotic experience that would go beyond good food.

That's what the opening to your presentation needs to do - every time you speak.

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Presentation Success: What do you Want People to Do?

This is the most important measure of presentation success.

If the true purpose of your presentation is to move people - then the measure of your presentation success is - did you move them?

What do you want them to do?

Are they doing what you wanted them to do?

If the answer is yes - you delivered a successful presentation. If the answer is no...

The best measure of a presentation is what your audience is doing after your presentation.

Are they continuing to do what you wanted them to continue to do?

Are they changing to do what you wanted them to change to do?


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Presentation Success: What do You Want People to Feel?

Here's another criteria for presentation success.

How do you want listeners to feel during and after your presentation?

Why is that important?

Because "How they feel" will determine how they react to your message more than anything else.

If you want to influence people as a public speaker you need to understand how they might be feeling and how you might influence their feelings.

Before you speak research and consider how people might be feeling about your message. Then develop your presentation to alter their feeling in the direction that you want.

If you can do that - you have delivered a successful presentation.

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Impromptu Speaking

Don't wing it. Always be prepared to deliver an impromptu presentation.

Sometimes you might be asked to deliver comments or a presentation without advance notice. You might be tempted to think on your feet. I strongly suggest that you do not think on your feet. It is easy to get yourself into trouble. Instead always be prepared to speak on very short notice. Impromptu speaking is similar to regular presenting – in that both are based on skill development. The better you know and practice the techniques the more it looks like talent.

Here are some techniques to help you with impromptu speaking.

• Have some favourite stories ready to use at any time. 
• Rehearse them well so you can tell them easily. 
• Prepare some of your best stories for different time frames, eg a 45-second version and a three minute version.
• Quickly write three points on an index card – then talk about those points.
• Decide on the one thing that you want to get across – and deliver that message.
• Conduct your speech as an interview with yourself. 
• Ask rhetorical questions – then answer them.

Don’t think on your feet – instead be prepared


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How to Deliver Bad News

Tips for Giving Bad News

iBe well rehearsed.

iBe objective - focus on the issue.

iLook and sound confident.

iStand still and avoid making big gestures.

iMaintain steady eye contact.

iDemonstrate empathy – not sympathy.

iBe brief. Explain the cause and the decision.

iBe clear. Be direct. Don’t use vague metaphors.

iAnnounce if you will take questions and the rules.

iIf you plan to be available for private discussion – tell them when and how.

iClarify the next step.

iAfter you have given the bad news, pause to allow the message to sink in.

iBe prepared for an angry backlash – and don’t react.

iHave assistants prepped and ready to help with the unexpected.

Don't do any of these

iDon’t appear to be seeking audience approval.
iDon’t lie, exaggerate or undervalue the impact.

iDon’t state “This will hurt me more that you” or “I know how you feel.”

iDon’t blame. Take credit for your own decisions.

iDon’t shed crocodile tears.

iDon’t be glib. Don’t try to be funny.

iDon’t mix bad news and good news. That confuses the message.

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